The House of the Golden God

On Sunday, the ever-growing awards season will finally come to a close. After months of endless (and often unwarranted and unasked) opinions from everyone on the Internet, the media, and the various artistic communities, everyone will finally shut up about who should win the coveted golden god statuette--and instead focus on the various fashion flubs and who should have won the Oscar.

I enjoy awards shows, mostly for the entertainment and the anything-could-happen vibe at live awards.

Like this. (The funniest moment from ANY awards show.)



That's actually what Hollywood is going to do on Sunday. Kneel before their golden god. And pray that they get one of these.

Almost everyone is counting on Argo to win Best Picture, despite the fact that Ben Affleck was snubbed for Best Director. (I would love for Michael Haneke to win, just for the fact that the man behind some of the most uncomfortable films in contemporary European cinema is going to be onstage in broken English, possibly speechless at the fact that he has been awarded this prize.) I type almost because there is backlash for the hit thriller. There is an excellent article that discusses how awarding the film would be a bad idea in the long-run in Hollywood. "We urge (Oscar) to take a risk." Given how the Academy awarded The King's Speech over The Social Network (and Crash over Brokeback Mountain, Shakespeare in Love over Saving Private Ryan, etc.), I highly doubt they are going to go with a bold choice.

The Academy Awards being called irrelevant isn't news. Every year, they manage to tune out all the white noise and vote for films and people that did not excel in their respective fields and crafts. They vote and award people who essentially kiss ass, with the help of various folks, teams, and organizations, through a series of interviews, meet-and-greets, screenings, and other tactics that work 90% of the time.

For several weeks, Oscar nominees essentially turn into
politicians, hamming it up on talk shows, luncheons, meetings.

Actors are the most visual group to engage in this. They turn into politicians who go out on the road, delivering stomp speeches, shaking hands, wining and dining prospective voters and kissing babies. If the Oscars were open to popular voting, I believe more people would vote for Daniel-Day Lewis for Best Actor than people voted for the real president in the last election. Don't believe me. Well, guess what? These things already happened. Over 100 million people voted who would become the inaugural "American Idol" (Kelly Clarkson). More people voted for Season 7 winner David Cook than they did for President Bush in 2004.

For instance, despite the fact that Christophe Waltz (Django Unchained) has won two of the major pre-Oscar awards (Golden Globe and BAFTA for supporting actor), the Oscar will most likely go to Robert de Niro. The very private actor does not speak publicly often but he's been campaigning relentlessly, even crying, for his turn as the father of a grown son (Best Actor nominee Bradley Cooper--whoa, it feels weird saying that) with mental problems (Silver Linings Playbook). Plus, it has even many, many years since de Niro has appeared in a movie that shows why he is considered to be one of the greatest actors of all time.

It pains to me to reveal this, but once I was speaking with a very bright teenager, probably still in high school, when movies popped up in the conversation. Meet the Fockers just came out, and she mentioned that she loved de Niro's performance. "That was the funniest thing he has ever been in. Great stuff." I quickly ended the conversation and walked away.

I have never seen Meet the Fockers (I did see the other two) or seen much of de Niro's recent screen roles. I was raised, thanks to cable, Netflix, and history, watching his earlier works, which are some of the best movies in American cinema.
Taxi Driver. Raging Bull. The Godfather Part 2. The King of Comedy. Goodfellas. Once Upon a Time in America. Casino. Heat. Even a soapy romantic drama co-starring another acting legend (Meryl Streep) couldn't derail his winning streak. (Though that is one very good soapy drama.)

While originally I was going to write and post my picks for the Oscars, as I read that article and other material on this event, it seemed pointless to post my picks. It does not matter who I think is going to win or should win. Unless I was a voting member of the Academy, my opinion does not count. And neither does the op-eds of the Internet, movie critics, and other "insiders."

I say we just drop all of this, open a cold one, kick back, and just watch the damned awards ceremony. Seth MacFarlane is hosting and they're bringing back musical performances. This could either be the best show of the season or the worst show of all time. Who knows. Maybe a trainwreck could happen. Like this one.

Apparently the always-cool Rob Lowe's only lame moment was televised and
belated by millions of viewers and people in the audience.

Fortunately there is no video on YouTube of this mess, but there is a piece written by the actress playing Snow White (located here) on the traumatizing experience.